Living Freedom Archive

Can I live up to the gift of freedom?

I often think of freedom as a burden, the fact that I have limitless choices to be anyone I want to be or not. It scares the hell out of me. The burden to choose responsibly and wisely for myself on a personal, civil and spiritual level. Do I believe in a God or don’t I? Do I care about the environment enough to actually make choices that protect it? Do I care enough about my neighbour to make choices that actually benefit my neighbour, my friend, my co-worker?

I often choose not to experience the freedom of being who I am, to explore who I am, to risk and choose wrongly.

In the early 90’s, I did some work in Eastern Europe and Russia and the thrill of freedom was palpable in the air. This was the era of Perestroika, the end of the communistic repression. People could not wait to exercise their new freedom, to make their own choices, to speak out loud about their feelings and thoughts, and to act on their passions and succeed.

They were eager to talk to Americans, to get whatever knowledge they could about ‘how it is in America’ and the democratic system. I heard over and over again how lucky I was to live in a country where I could be anything and get anything as long as I worked hard.

During a conversation with my host in Hungary, I discovered that he had a sister who lived in England and that he had never visited her there. I asked why not? He told me that he did not think he could bear to see what he could have become, had he had the freedom of choice. I found this heartbreaking. I’ve thought about this often over the years when I feel stuck or depressed, or unwilling to speak my truth.

There is a passivity that has settled over me, and over most of America. We are blinded by a sentimental idea of freedom and have become flabby in mind, body, and spirit. We are not exercising our freedom to delve deeply into our hearts and ask what is this precious gift? Will we use our freedom to help America find its way again? Will I use my freedom to find my way again? Will I liberate my heart? Will I be of use?

by Kate Schalk
Framingham, MA, USA

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